I Hate A Tribe Called Quest: A Personal Essay

 sorry bros

I still don't have my computer back, so I went ahead and wrote a goddamn essay:

I hate A Tribe Called Quest so much. Their music isn't even that bad, it's just that they represent everything that is wrong with rap music. Allow me to explain:
When I was 11 and first started buying rap CDs, probably like the eighth album I got was A Tribe Called Quest CD (I don't remember which one) because they had a song on the radio that I liked. I ended up returning the disc because it was so boring to me. There were all sorts of jazzy tones in the beats that bored me to death and the rappers had no emotion in their raps. Any sort of clever wordplay in the rhymes probably flew over my head and the quiet beat selection was in sharp contrast to the bombastic sounds I was used to from Southern and West Coast rap music.
Shortly after that I struck up a conversation with a high schooler about rap music. He was really into theater and always tried to come off as super intelligent, to give you a feel for the type of guy he was. I told him I had bought a CD by A Tribe Called Quest, but returned it because I didn't like it. He quickly began chiding me for that action, telling me I didn't know anything about "real music." I quickly began rattling off the names of my favorite rappers at the time (E-40, Spice 1, Dru Down, Brotha Lynch Hung, etc.) and he dismissed all of those artists by saying, "those type of rappers have no substance to them, just dumb raps about violence and money." Being an 11 year old talking to a 17 year old, I just nodded and said, "yeah I guess so..." I went home that day and didn't know what to think, did I have stupid tastes in music? Should I start listening to more 'mature music?' When a high schooler tells you that the music you love at the age of 11 is dumb it can really get in your head.

 Me circa 1998

I literally didn't listen to any music for the next week, I didn't know what I could listen to anymore. Finally I said 'fuck that guy, I'm going to listen to whatever I want' and have not looked back since. The thing is, I completely understand why someone would like A Tribe Called Quest, but to me they epitomize everything that is self-absorbed and pretentious about the rap culture. I mean, their debut album is titled People's Instinctive Travels and the Path of Rhythm, the fuck is that? It doesn't even mean anything, but sounds smart enough that rap nerds can pat themselves on the back for listening to it.

The term "real hip-hop," the most repulsive three letter phrase a rap fan or worse a music critic can utter, really began to pick up steam after rappers like A Tribe Called Quest began to gain popularity. Somehow over the years the fallacy has developed that rap music used to be a completely honest and authentic form of artistic expression, but has deteriorated into a talentless celebration of all things superficial. Looking at youtube comments for songs like "Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like That)" and "Saturdays" or anything along those genre lines, you are met with hundreds of comments stating something like 'this is real hip hop from the golden age, too bad nowadays rappers just make songs filled with curse words about their jewelry.' When did rappers ever not make songs about their material possessions? Or with curse words? Why is that such a bad thing for anyone besides middle aged soccer moms? I'm not a rap historian, but let's talk about early rap music; is Grandmaster Flash's "The Message" really so different from the majority of gangster rap that has come out in the last few years? Sure, musically they sound very different, but the message remains the same: 'I'm about to go crazy living in this shitty neighborhood of mine.' However, rappers such as Waka Flocka Flame and Soulja Boy have attracted an unprecedented amount of hate, because they are "not lyrical rappers" and lack the clever wordplay of others at times. Why does that matter? Rap music and all music for that matter was never supposed to be a technical exercise, but rather a form of expression. What made early hip hop so special was that it was either catchy or painted a picture for listeners of what living in rough neighborhoods was like. It was different and people all around the country liked it.

Exhibit A: If this song were by a New York City rapper then it would be considered a hip hop classic guaranteed.

Run-DMC, one of the first rap groups to garner national success, had lyrics that largely revolved around having a good time and always strove for mainstream appeal. They were no doubt talented lyricists, but to say that their rhyme schemes or whatever are what ushered in their success rather than catchy hooks and beats is a joke.
It wasn't until the early 90's that rap music began to develop a more intellectual element to it; rappers weren't just trying to get the party started or rapping about coke. The music no longer revolved around personal experience, but rather strove to be unique and smart. The music created by A Tribe Called Quest and other rap groups was a natural evolution for the genre and produced a lot of records that people like, but naturally it wore out it's welcome by the mid 90's in favor of gangster rap. Rap records from this short time period and region (mostly New York) were less explicit and had tons of music samples that people could nerd out about. The music transitioned into more straightforward rap in New York, but people continued to jock it heavily and the idea that it was infinitely more superior than any other hip hop continued to develop.
This rap music snobbery is largely New York City-centric and has fooled just about every music journalist into believing that because NYC is considered the birthplace of hip hop, any other region's rap music is inherently inferior.
ASAP Rocky literally just recruited every producer that Main Attrakionz and Lil B had been using (or beatjacked them), backed it up with forgettable rapping and now has a feature in every indie music magazine and a million dollar deal to show for it. Why? Because he is from New York and New York rap is always important and worth paying attention to according to every music critic. His success fits an easy narrative of being part of a hip hop comeback for a region that used to thrive musically, but has staggered for several years. I guarantee you that if he was from anywhere besides NYC, especially the West Coast, no one would give two fucks about him.

 Where is it? In 1992?!?

The first generation of rap music wasn't significant because of how complex their rhymes were, but rather the emotions they expressed and the visual imagery they created for listeners about what it was like in their neighborhood. Rappers are still doing that same thing today, but it is scoffed at by a large number of older rap listeners who could not grow with the times and younger listeners who want to be perceived as unique by shunning their current generation of music. The truth is that the particular breed of rap music they approve of existed for only a short period of time in the genre's long, evolving history and they are just fetishizing the past.

I think the real difference between "real hip hop" and all other rap in people's minds who feel the need to differentiate the two is that the music they have labelled as authentic is much more friendly and non-threatening. White people from the suburbs who drive a Subaru and only eat organic foods can listen to early 90's NYC rap like A Tribe Called Quest while driving to Whole Foods and be like "this is REAL hip hop, I wish all rap was like this!" Then when they hear some Waka Flocka Flame on the radio their ears start bleeding and they jump on their shitty blog when they get home and write a scathing rant about what is wrong with rap music these days. Then they pat themselves on the back and drink some chamomile tea or some shit.

Exhibit B: the rapping on this song is far from good, but who cares? It's a fun and enjoyable song!

At the end of the day I guess it's not really A Tribe Called Quest that I hate so much, (I kind of like "Find a Way") but rather the "real hip hop" aesthetic of needing to project an image within the culture of being more intelligent and thus more important than other rappers because they chose to make songs jam packed with clever samples and references to pop culture, rather than based on personal experiences. Or maybe they use live instruments to make their beats, therefore they are "real artists." So many rappers that shun the monotony of mainstream rap turn around and make some of the most repetitive music possible to try and gain approval from fellow listeners of "real hip hop," such as doing a homage mixtape to Nas' Illmatic if you are from the East Coast or freestyle rapping over "From 93 Til Infinity" if you are from the West Coast.

Anyways, next time someone starts to lecture you about "real music" or how rap music has greatly deteriorated from what it used to be, do me a favor and tell them to chill the fuck out and stay in their own lane. 
Have a great day and listen to music because you enjoy it, not because it's cool to like it. I'm outta here.